New Blog

My new blog... And this old one had not even reached its 1st birthday. Oh well, what am I to do anyway?

Pleaze link me on my new blog: Crossheaven II

It's still undergoing constant upgrades, so don't be too disappointed there's no chatbox there yet. Haha...

check my my other blog if you'd like
Reviewing The Reviews

Anyway, it's been fun having memories here, but like life - We gotta move on.

Thanks for the memories.

2nd Last Post

I know life has its ups and downs but this is ridiculous. I mean, my life that is. I've endured months of disconnection (thinking it was the fault of others), only to find out it was my own fault. Yeah, I mean... I wouldn't exactly win the best award for being a good friend... But well...

*shrugs*

Forget it anyway. That's in the past and as Puan Aznida told me a week ago, "You can't let your stress pull you down, do the best you can and move with it". Or at least, it was something like that. Mr. Boler said the same thing too: "We can't move on in our lives if we have something wieghting us down".

Hey, they're talking about me...

Anyway, Graduation Day (2nd of November, Friday) was an emotional day for me. I never expected so many of my friends to be reduced to tears. Least of all, me. Yeah, I cried.

And it was then I really understood why everything was the way it was. Why I've been seeing fragments of my BB life flashing before my eyes. To those of you who understand why, I'm with y'all. You're the true BBians.

This is - By the way... Going to be my 2nd last post for this blog. Yep, we've been through ups and downs with this blog. But the memories that flood it are way too strong and I can't bear it. So after SPM, you'll be seeing a new blog.

A new me.

Till then, Good Luck to all for SPM and STPM. And await my final post, telling you the new link and location of my new blog :D

" Every memory of looking out the back door... I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor. It's hard to say it, time to say it. Goodbye, goodbye"
-Nickelback-

To All... I'm Officially Disconnected

Not only am I disconnected... now I'm also under house arrest by my parents.

Yep, no handphone. No internet (the only reason how I go online is by having midnight wake-ups). No music.

Until SPM is over.

Not to mention they're enraged at me. But I don't blame them. It happens too frequently of late. And fairly speaking, to a point where they might just decide to disown me. No joke there.

So, if you're planning to contact me... Leave me an e-mail.

If I'm lucky, I'll be able to check it and reply to you.

Till then, take care. I might not be updating unless I have the chance.

Good luck to all, whether you're sitting for an exam, or a quiz, or just trying to do anything in your life.

I'm disconnected. Bye.

--line shut at post #80

p.s - to pui san, good luck for your remaining quiz and enjoy yourself afterwards :)

I Still Don't Have A Reason, And You Don't Have The Time

Yeah.

Cliche title for a blog post, but that's how it is.

At this moment of time, I have finally seen one of the causes of my disconnection.

I'm still disconnected. But only from two people whom I was close to.

Does it matter? Maybe not.

I still don't have the reason for my disconnection.

And they still don't have the time to tell me why.

"I still don't have a reason, and you don't have the time"
-Maroon 5-

Not Worth The Daylight

Screw whatever people say. Lies aren't going to affect me.

Anyway, spacing out on whatever has transpired this morning at school, I must say it's starting to be a drag. Lessons are non-existent; teachers are hardly ever around - if any even come to school in the first place; and there are less people to disturb now.

Key items that happened this morning is Mr. Azman's Paper 3 Physics exercises, Mr. Mah stoning in class and Ustazah discussing our Agama Paper. Other than that is nothing worth talking about.

Oh yes, maybe on the interesting note, I have managed to download two of Marilyn Manson's good hit singles. I haven't the time to usually turn on my P2P software, so yesterday was a good chance.


Word of caution: to those who have a faint heart and a pure soul, Marilyn Manson isn't for you

A boring day as usual. Leaves me some time for studying I guess, seeing that SPM is about less than 5 weeks away.

"The more you fear us, the bigger we get"
- Marilyn Manson-

Like, What The Hell?

It just really amazes me at how vivid a person's imagination can be.

I mean... *sighs* Let me start right from the beginning shall we?

Two days ago, my mum was mad at me because I came out excruciatingly late from school and Mum had already waited for half-an hour for me. Lectures and scoldings aside, Mum made it clear she was not going to pick me up from school anymore.

Adding the fact that it was Ramadhan and fasting has sapped most of her energy, I understood well and decided to revert back to my old means of transportation: the LRT.


I don't have a problem with that really. Fact is, I enjoy taking public transport. Taxi drivers as an exception.

Anyway, just today, Mum said she wasn't going to pick me up, so I'd for sure be taking the LRT back home. After studying in the library with 6AS, I decided to call it a day and leave for home.

Coincidentally, Amira was walking down to the Astaka, since the LRT station is relatively closer, I decided to tag along. She went back with Firduan and I walked back to the LRT station. There, just about it.

However, what I did not expect was my Mum turning up at school to pick me up since she felt sorry for me. Since I used the back way, I did not bump into my Mum or else I would have definitely gone back with her.

My Mum, in tension, asked around concerning me.

Fakhrul was good enough to help my Mum search for me (though in vain) and I really thank him for that. And also an apology because it troubled him.

*sighs*

Anyway, what pissed me off was what my Mum told me.

me | mum

aziff, when i asked for your wherabouts, i got quite a lot of people saying something bout you and amira
(what the-?)
what about it? i was just walking down with her since the LRt station was closer to the Astaka
well, some people said you might have gone into her car and-
what?!

Yeah, well... Vivid imaginations indeed. And I somehow blame Fadli because of that. That's another story however.

My Mum was really worried and I can't blame her.

*sighs*

Vivid imaginations indeed.

"You only see what your eyes want to see"
-Madonna-

Right Where It Was

"It was you all along, man. You made the disconnection yourself. Not anyone else. Just you"

Words which struck to me like hot knife through butter. True words indeed.

The disconnection I've been experiencing for the past few weeks now (or was it months?) is finally starting to fade. Slowly but surely.

I've got good friends, a family I love. And a person whom I will always hold my heart dear to.

What else could I want more?

Was I trying to be someone more than I could become? Was I trying too hard to prove something?

Well, if that was the case, it's over now. My life is starting to roll back in line. And I will solve my problems, no longer by myself as I have always done so. But with someone there to back me up.

But the disconnection will always be there. As a writer and a creative-thinker, a certain disconnection must always exist to let one see from an omniscient view. To see everything else others don't.

But if I take this disconnection too far, I might just lose myself.

Sorry, and thank you. Everyone.